GOALS

Jed Hoyer said that before the Padres can think about contending in the NL West (muffled giggle) we have to get to .500. I think that there should be immediate smaller-scale priorities that come before either of those goals:

1. Have a better record than the Marlins and the Doyers.

Why? Pride basically. Those are the two biggest cluster-f***s in all of MLB, and if it weren't for the Clippers, probably at the top in all of sports. There is no way that the JV, who have an owner in place that's not a sleeze or a con man (for LA and FLA respectively), a awsome new downtown staduim (FLA's is the Debbie Downer of home parks), a smart young GM in Jed, and a fan base that's not putting people in comas should have a worse record than these two teams. We're better than that on literally every level.

2. Increase our production with runners in scoring position.

Sunday's win was a great 4-1 W, but we still left 11 or 12 men on base. We were fortunate to run into some offensive luck and a reliever not totally on his game, but in general we need to cut down on that shit -- plus it makes for terrible games.

3. Keep people healthy.

Obvious. But seeing Maybin round the bases, hustle down the line to beat throws, and Orlando Hundson being clutch still makes me think what-if for this season.

4. Get the Petco winning % up.

What's the point of dreaming about the playoffs if you can't win at home?

5. Get to .500
6. Contend.
7. Make Jonathan Sanchez cry, because he is an awful, awful man. Speaking of, has it been like 2 months since we've played LA or SF?
/ Too lazy to look up schedule.