PADS DEFY SPACE AND TIME LOGIC TO BECOME THE CUBS OF THE END OF LAST YEAR, HAND THE PIRATES/2010PADRES THEIR 10TH LOSS IN A ROW, KICKING A TEAM WHEN THEIR HOPES WERE ALREADY BROKEN AND SHATTERING THEIR WILL TO PLAY

Title pretty much sums it up.

Didn't catch the last game because I didn't feel like it would be a good gauge of where the Friars are at at this point in the season as we completed a brain bludgeoning sweep of the Buck-os at home. I feel much sympathy and remorse for a team who went from LITERALLY first place and hope for a successful season for the first time in 20ish years, to LITERALLY 10 games out in a LITERALLY a 10 game span as the (formerly) 2nd place Brewers have gone 9-1 in the same span. Wow. Devastating.

F* it, on to NY!

GO PADS.

 Back from vacation and I feel like kicking a tin can down the main street of this ghost town of a blog.

Guess I'll start with the negatives, as is interwebs protocol: I am starting to realize that I gave this team basically four full months of daily dedication, taking a week off to sin, and then trying coming back to the state I used to be in where I'd watch all the games has been really difficult. Why? This is going to be a trash season and it's hard to care about these players. No two-ways about it, and that's just the ebb & flow of Friarlife.

Rizzo didn't do diddly shit at the bigs, and you get the feeling that, like the early 2000s, few-to-none of the players will be relevant in the team's long term plans. Shit baseball games save the good pitching. So it's hard to get the motivation to watch a lot of these contests.

Having that been said, I'm watching this 5-1 whoppin of the Buck-Os right now.

"Mrs. Gump, is there a Mr. Gump?"

"...He's on vacation."

Good news, bad news. The good news is that we dropped a big fat stinky 14 runs on the Florida Probably Owned by Criminal Assholes today. The bad news is that I didn't, and nor will I watch that because at my job we are working a 50 hour week because next week is company vacation (we get 10 total weekdays off in a year, none by our choosing, and FOUR of them are coming IN A ROW next week). So for next week I've both saved up half a G in cash and I cleaned my floor assuming I will spend one and end up on the other most or all nights. 

Consequently, there might be dead-air for a week while I find new ways to give Americans a bad name. Be safe, stay cool, and as always:

G O  P A D R E S

THANKS FOR THE CASH, BITCHEZ

I liked Sunday's game more than Saturday's game in a lot of ways. Saturday we just pounced on a terrible outing from Zito who seems to mentally flip a coin at the start of every game to see if he'll dominate or be decrepit. Sunday we got hits with runners in scoring position and took advantage of errors. Then I fell asleep during the last few innings so I didn't see how we ended up losing, but f* it.

The Giants fans are doing their best Doyer fans impression, only they are white and smug as opposed to LA fans. Either way there had to have been 12k or more Giants fans at every 40k plus game over the four game series, and yes the out routed the last-place Padres fans, and yes jocked their Championship, but more importantly our franchise probably cleared a pretty penny from ticket sales from those asses not to mention all the beverage sales they consumed to drown out the sorrow of having Zito in uniform.

So yes, come and be atrocious and obnoxious, SF fans, you've got the right to. Also, thanks for all your money, expect Pads fans to do the same never. Tools.

(replace 'happiness' with 'championships', and 'sure' with 'hopefully will')

THE HARDEST JOB IN BASEBALL / WHAT A SHIT GO OF IT WE'RE HAVING

I've been saying for a while that the hardest job in baseball was being a Pittsburgh Pirates fan. It was true. The buck-o's have been atrocious for since before the internet was invented (lie), or at least before all the cool stuff came around like this. However today, the Pirates are in first place in the NL Central and that 'hardest job' saying needs a new ending.

About the Friars. This has been the worst 7 games I can remember in the last 15 years. This is coming from someone who knows the scores and then watches the full games anyway and I'm saying: How are we expect to watch this shit? I keep the faith, don't get me wrong, but honestly I got other shit I could be doing besides this utter bukkake of hitting failures and stranded runners. And I love pitching. I could watching good pitching all day. But knowing that it's going to be in vain gives a dick-dipped-in-my-cereal. I turned off the game in frustration today in the 7th knowing I wouldn't regret it, and I didn't.

So here it is: The hardest job in baseball is being a Padres starting pitcher.

You said it, Clay.

Because if you're a SDP starter, what's the point? It's the hardest job in baseball because somehow they continue to find the motivation to actually try, and that can't be easy when the know what's going to happen. They could throw underhand slow-pitch-softball-style and give up a baker's dozen runs an inning, don't make no never mind because a functional Major League Baseball team's hitters should be expected to score more than five runs in SIX games. Five, six. Out of 12 games this month, the Padres have scored two or fewer runs in 9 of those games. Alberto Gonzales is our best clutch hitter.

I can't believe I'm saying this but I miss Hawp. I miss mopey Adrian, and d-bag Garland. I miss laughter and fun and ginger snaps in the summer's eve whilst the blue birds sing. O what sorrow observing thine team sucking big fat freggin Tijuana donky D at hitting the baseball bringith upon one's soul.

Whatever happens with the rest of this SF series let's just play the Marlins and rip em up for a bajillion runs. Cool? cool. Go Padres, I guess.

SWITCHING IT UP

It's only the top of the second right now, and to be honest I'm playing Call of Duty with game on next to me. But In the first I started to hear something on the broadcast that gave my ear a twitch, and now after Cody Ross's lead-off homerun in the second I figured it out: Dick Endber is officially completely routing for the other team again. Like last year when he spluged to Matt Kemp hitting homeruns, Dick is back to the same BS getting a psyched up with a call along the lines of "And Cody Ross homers for the first place Giants!"

Man, f*ck you, Dick.

THIS WEEK IN HATE: THE WORST ESPN SPORTS NEWS DAY IN HISTORY

Check that out: Don't care. Couldn't possibly care less. Meh care. And to top it all off, a 6 am BYU Media day has got a byline at the top, 'd rather gouge my eyes. In addition my $120 MLB.TV package doesn't include All Star festivities. Worst week in recent sports memory (holla at me 2010 10 game loosing streak).

Keeping the Faith in Tough Times

            A little bit of background: I have been a Padres fan for as long as I have been cognizant of MLB’s existence- sadly, this was the time of the 1993 fire sale.  I was at Tony’s last game due to the September 11 schedule re-shuffle, I remember the run to the World Series in ‘98 (and still have the t-shirt that looks like a team photo to prove it), the hopeful years of the early 2000s, and still rue the momentous Game 163, otherwise known as the game where we are all still waiting for Matt Holiday to touch home plate. What is important here is that all I have ever known as a Padres fan is some level of futility, watching players leave town in their primes. 

            Being a fan of the Padres is like being in on an inside joke.  Fans of other teams don’t quite get it, but for us, staying loyal to the Friars is something we will continue to do, and something we see as a badge of pride. Over the years, we have Believed in the Padres, Kept the Faith, and gotten chills at the sound of the ominous ringing bell.

            And, all of this is why the last two games have stung as badly as any series of Padres baseball has. To fail to score in two straight games may be a hallmark of recent Padres baseball, but to do it against the Dodgers, while only allowing one run each game, is pathetic, and frustrating beyond anything this side of the aforementioned G163.  What every fan knew (and expressed on twitter before and as it was occurring) was that for the no-hitter to be possible, it would take more than nine innings. We knew it before the announcers thought to mention it (although since it was Joe Buck, that’s not saying much), and that’s the worst part. We had no reason to hope.

            We have seen a Padres team in transition the first half of the 2011 season. Early, it was easy to criticize, as players like Hawpe and Cantu didn’t even seem to be trying. It was easy to distance ourselves as fans; only Ryan Ludwick seemed to be taking his poor performance personally. With more and more players on Twitter, interacting with fans, it’s easier to see the effort of young guys Cameron Maybin and Anthony Rizzo; which makes it that much harder to hate the on field product.

            One last note: as fans, we really shouldn’t be as frustrated as we are, but the fact that we do all feel the needs to shout at the TV is good. Hear me out- the Padres came in to the season with no real expectations of being a playoff team again. We all knew they outperformed last year, and that even with Adrian, the playoffs were unlikely this year. Yet, we care about a season that we never really should have even hoped for. So we continue to Believe in our Padres, and Keep the Faith. And that’s a good thing.

David

            

THE BRIGHT SIDE

Let's play the Let's Say game.

Let's say that the Padres sweep 4 in SF like we should have, let's say that we don't go 40 innings (or something like that) scoring only one run on one hit like no one should, let's say that the Giants lose 2 out of three against the Mets and we pile drive the Doyers and keep scoring about 5 a game and take 2 of 3. Let's say that come All Star break, the San Diego Padres are within give-or-take 4 games of the NL West Division leaders capped by a four-pitcher no-hitter on national television.

Great. Freggin awesome. Drunkin festivals in the streets, no pants. What then? Do we NOT look to move Heath Bell? Do we not inquire about deals for Mike Adams? Do we not continue to rebuild and fool ourselves into thinking for a minute that we have another 'contender'?

Last years let down was catastrophic. I honestly thought we were going to win the Series. When we took 2 of 3 in Boston, and when we were looking like we could take down SF in SF, I got to thinking that I don't really need the boys to go on some magnificent run into August if that means halting our progress for the future.  So the bright side is hey, at least we won't get fooled again.

The last few days have been embarrassing. I think at best for this season, standing here at what feels like the lowest of the lows, we should hope to do well against the division, and in general try not to embarrass ourselves too much, and in the mean time I expect management to continue to make moves for the future of the franchise.

AH FIDDLESTICKS

How about our pitchers learn to bunt?

I had three hours before work when the game started so I said, cool I'll relax and watch a full big league ball game. Neither of those happened. Also, to have Dicky E greet you first thing in the AM sorta sucks.

I don't know if I'm Buddy Black do I put in Mike Adams in that situation in 8th. He'd been out there a bunch over the last few days. I remember Gregerson had been roughed up in one of his rehab starts so maybe that was a motivation. Qualls was psyched up yesterday after the play at the plate I think I throw him in there but he's worked a lot too lately. There was just something about that inning in the 8th when it started with Mosley giving up the single you knew something was going to happen -- maybe it was the crowd getting into it. Is that what happens when you win the World Series? You have a packed house with ravenous fans on a Wednesday night against a near last-place team?

Also, I don't get Brian Wilson. He seems like a huge tool, or, a Giant tool if you will. F* him. He should have given up that run in the ninth, we should have won this game. But all will be forgotten tomorrow with a W and 3 outta 4 in SF. With a loss tomorrow it was a simple series split and we're back to basics. C'mon Luebke make whatever podunk town your from proud!!

GO PADS.

THIS IS MY MEMORY OF BRUCE BOCHY FROM THE YEARS 1999-2004

When hat comes off, someone just bought themselves 2 nights in the Bochy's Shithouse Motel

IF YOU AIN'T CHEATIN, YOU AIN'T TRYIN

What a game. First off, Daddy Long Legs is going to get all the headlines, but Lubke... Hot damn Lubke. I mean, the Ms are the worst offensive team in the Senior Circuit. But 6 innings, 2 hits, 0 walks, 7ks is looking might fine. But on to the good stuff:

In the top of the 5th Mayin decides that 3 strikes is plenty and trots down to first base, and NO ONE notices. There are 4 umpires, 9 opposing players in the field, a bevy of bench coaches, managers, trainers, ball boys, pop corn vendors for Seattle and no one stopped him. The Pads then sent Cam running on a 3-1 pitch that Rizzo ground to short, eliminating the double play, and A.Gon hit a hot shot off the SS to plate the game's only run. Then the pen was dominating.

Friday's game was a bit of a c***slap, but I'm not going to sweat it, alls we needs ta do is support Mat Latos tomorrow and we'll have won our 4th straight series.

GO PADS.

YOU KNOW WHAT MY DAY WAS MISSING?

A Sean Burroughs article. Don't get me wrong, I had already read one here, but I was emopants because I wanted TWO! Now I can finish off my 9th Slurpee in peace.

PADRES SWEEP!!!

And winners of 7 of the last 8. Over that time period the rallies that the team has put together seem to all have the same characteristics: they come with 2 outs and they all consist of mostly singles. There were 6 hits in our 4 run 3rd inning, and 5 of them were singles, while 5 hits ALL the runs came with two outs in the frame. I think Patty Ice should change his 'one nut out of the pants rally' to now having both nuts swinging free, one for each out there is whilst we start knocking in runs.

I think that the biggest game of the last 8 (series with Boston, Atlanta and Kansas City) was the rubber match last Sunday where Lubke got nasty on ATL. He could have easily have been rocked and possibly have caused a momentum killer, however he was aggressive, ballsy, confident in his 1 hit performance and we end up taking 2 of 3, keeping confidence up from the (chaotic) Boston series. Next thing you know we have the first winning homestand of the year. Fuhkyea.

GOALS

Jed Hoyer said that before the Padres can think about contending in the NL West (muffled giggle) we have to get to .500. I think that there should be immediate smaller-scale priorities that come before either of those goals:

1. Have a better record than the Marlins and the Doyers.

Why? Pride basically. Those are the two biggest cluster-f***s in all of MLB, and if it weren't for the Clippers, probably at the top in all of sports. There is no way that the JV, who have an owner in place that's not a sleeze or a con man (for LA and FLA respectively), a awsome new downtown staduim (FLA's is the Debbie Downer of home parks), a smart young GM in Jed, and a fan base that's not putting people in comas should have a worse record than these two teams. We're better than that on literally every level.

2. Increase our production with runners in scoring position.

Sunday's win was a great 4-1 W, but we still left 11 or 12 men on base. We were fortunate to run into some offensive luck and a reliever not totally on his game, but in general we need to cut down on that shit -- plus it makes for terrible games.

3. Keep people healthy.

Obvious. But seeing Maybin round the bases, hustle down the line to beat throws, and Orlando Hundson being clutch still makes me think what-if for this season.

4. Get the Petco winning % up.

What's the point of dreaming about the playoffs if you can't win at home?

5. Get to .500
6. Contend.
7. Make Jonathan Sanchez cry, because he is an awful, awful man. Speaking of, has it been like 2 months since we've played LA or SF?
/ Too lazy to look up schedule.

GETTIN OLD

Here's a nice, nine page read about baseball, age and adjustments from The NYTimes Magazine.

TALKIN TRADES, BULL PEN, EXPECTATIONS, BEER FARTS

Buster Olney reported on a possible Heath Bell trade to Philadelphia. Let's assume that happens, as well it probably should.

Taking away all the given negatives of losing an all-star, heavy-set, funny as hell, sprint your ass-off out of the pen looking like a chubby kid chasing an ice cream truck, closer, is our 'pen strong enough to take that hit and with in reason still be stellar?

I think if we are to consider this, we have to directly correlate it with the questions: Is Mike Adams ready to close games out on the regular? If so should we trade both Bell and Adams and load up on prospects?

I think probably, and no.

I think that if Gregorson doesn't lose any nasty on that slider and move him to 8th, and we can throw maybe Qualls in the 7th, Adams can do well anchoring The Yoda Backpacks. He's been the All-Star on the team this season, and he's been dominating for years now. He's the man. Here's the rub -- he doesn't strike me as a closer. Just his composure - which is to say he has good, calm, collected composure - makes me feel he doesn't match the mold of fiercely competitive, lil bit insane, with down right intimidating stuff closer that I'm used to seeing. Heath has all three of those. Hoffy had that intensity. Hard. And during his hay, that hall-of-fame-dirty change up made hitters look so foolish it was insane.

Now objectively rebuilding is exactly that, and if we need to wipe the slate and plan for 2013+beyond then so be it. As an intelligent fan base we can't expect us to take the actions to rebuild and then be surprised with the consequences. For example yesterday I had four slices of big-ass slices of CostCo pizza, a large big mac meal, and double digits of cheap beer, and now the next day I'm drinking a large coffee. Consequence: beer-fartin up a storm, sitting here in my own stank barely able to function. Is it lame? Stanky? Pot-belly inducing? Yes. And I accept these consequences because I know that I like fun. 


However subjectively, and probably selfishly, the San Diego Padres have had a All-Star-ish closer for SIXTEEN years now in a row. Sixteen. Since I've cared about baseball, the Padres have played dozens of 8 inning games every year. It might be a little bit sentimental, but I don't want to imagine my team auditioning closers, trying to see who fits, waiting for them to blow 4 or 5 and then move on to someone else. That's not My Padres. As far as trading both, please don't trade big Mike Adams. 1st of all he's my mom's favorite player and I don't want to deal with those repercussions. But also if we lost both I think that would be so demoralizing voluntarily giving up the two best parts of the only good part of our team, it might turn the season from a bad circus to a full blown shit-show and no one wants to see that.

Thus I'm torn between knowing we need to rebuild, and wanting to keep the one consistent positive aspect about the franchise in tact.

WAS THAT NOT THE QUIETEST SERIES WIN OF ALL TIME?

I watched the first game/ass-faced-catastrophe. For reasons abundant demoralization (actually it was also .40 cent wing night) I didn't watch the second game, but I endured the 3rd game, and who'da thunk it, the Friars take 2 out of 3 in Boston! Pop the 2-buck-chuck and heat up the rice-a-roni.

Let's break this shit down to generalizations and vague impressions:

Game 1: Harrang should have been out there. The 'pen gave up double digit runs, which will happen a couple times a decade. Trounced. It happens.

Game 2: Josh Beckett should have been out there. The newly able-listed Maybin and Hundley combine to go 3 for 6, 2 RBIs and 2 runs scored and the Pads eek out a 5-4 win behind Matty Latos.

Game 3: A gift and a mess at the same time, an 8 inning 5-1 victory. Like a three-year old drawing a picture of his father for the dad's birthday. Luckily for us John Lackey pitched like Manny Rodriguez used to hustle gifting us 2 runs on hit-by-pitches with the bases drunk and serving up a lead off jack (JACK) to Mr. Will Venable. Clayton loaded the bases in the 1st got out of it by getting Ortiz to ground out, and Richard was stellar through two rain delays and 5+ innings, and eventually the game was called due to rain.

It's hard to absorb the series win after Monday, but we did it! Great for us? I'm Ron Burgundy? For me seeing Hundley break out of his 0-for streak, seeing O-Dog back running the bases, and to have Chase stay hot where all positives. Now if we can only awaken Rizzo; I'm still keeping the faith in the Friars. Every team has to get hot sometime yeah?

Stat of Week...

I have to thank Tim Kurkjian on Sportscenter the other day for this one. The 2011 Padres had been shut out 11 times through 67 games while the New York Yankees were shut out 11 times in a 5 year span from 1930-1934. I know we dont have the Yankee payroll but we should be able to at least get a few clutch hits every now and then.
         Big Kevin (Leavitt)

Hit and run

No not hit and run as in the baseball sense, hit and run car collision! On my 7 minute drive to work  I all of a sudden feel my self lunge forward only to look to the right to see a mustang with a busted front left corner. The young punk asshole then blazes 80 mph down the road weaving through traffic until a light hindered me from following him til he ran out of gas and unleashing a fortnights worth of fists on his face.

So what does this have to do with baseball. Well everything and nothing at all. After my rage subsided I turned on the radio for the rest of the 2 minute drive to work hoping to hear some good sd sports news on scott and br (one of the best sports shows and totally hilarious). Scott however had to remind me that we were on a path of utter doom, flying to boston for a beat down of all beat downs by yours truely, adrian gonzalez. Are you serious? We lose the last bajillion games (sorry I lost count) and now we gotta go play the red sox!?!?! So yes the 14-5 score at the end of the game neither surprised me nor made my day any better. At least I only got hit and run on and not hit and runOVER damn.

Well theres not a lot to say about the 2011 JV padres right now. They flat out can't hit, play defense, pitch that well, run very well just to name a few. What it comes down to is that the loss of adrian gonzalezs' bat, glove and leadership was just too much to handle. It was VERY wishful thinking by padres management to think they could replace adrian with two players who even combined SUCK.  The only thing thats even keeping this team from flat out being sent to the minors is the pitching. Even though it hasnt been as dominant as last year, at least the pitchers showed up to play this year.

I think the biggest question for me has to be, when does the baseball culture in san diego change? At some point we will have to sign our best players to long term deals instead of building them up and when they get too expensive, trade them away or let them walk. I know most people will say " if we had signed adrian we wouldn't have any money for anyone else".  BUT WHEN ARE WE EVER GOING TO HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO PAY THE GOOD PLAYERS! At some point management is gonna have to put up some extra dough to build a team. Trying to build budget teams just isn't working and were gonna be stuck in this same cycle forever.  Its either that or produce some home grown hitters! I mean seriously, when was the last time the padres actually drafted someone who ended up moving up through our system and turning into a star. I really don't think its been since Tony Gwynn and thats a long long time ago.

So I have officially come up with 3 of the GREATEST IDEAS OF ALL TIME! The first idea is to drink heavily with Matt every single game. Id play beer pong and make one cup for every run the padres  get therefore losing everygame and having to drink a shit ton. So effectively.... WINNING! Next idea is to have moorad killed by the russian mafia and the team sold to mark cuban. Have you seen that guy wear that retarded looking mavs championship hat, the guy is a straight baller. But in all serious ness  the guy spent like 90,000 dollars on ONE bottle of champagne that night they won! Think about the team we could have with his dough! And lastely instead of having the lowest payroll teams get money from the rich teams (which never seems to get spent improving the teams), the worst 8 teams would get an exception to the steriods rule. I mean those 8 teams wouldn't have the best hitters and thus they would still strikeout a bunch. The extra power would give those teams just enough extra home runs to even out the playing field.

Or maybe this beer and that hit and run have finally messed up my brain. My blogs are starting to deteriorate like the padres. At least I can still hope that Rizzo ends up being a beast. Until next time, your always faithful friar (even though i want to win oh so badly) Patty Ice

CHASE HEADLY GOES 4 FOR 5!!

AWESOME! Didn't catch anything else about the game, hope we won.

SOME FORMER PADRES FIRST BASEMAN

is having a real tough time adjusting to his new league:

http://espn.go.com/mlb/statistics

I hadn't noticed his stat line really, and now that I know I'm not all that glad I checked. It's like having an ex-girlfriend, and it just so happens we are both invited to the same three-day party June 20th-22nd at her house. She's rollin in with a boob job and a new car her boyfriend bought her after her promotion at work, and we've heading in to this shindig after we've moved back into our parents' spare room, blisters on our hands, and pissed that Dad filled up the Netflix with 3 seasons of Everybody Loves Raymond but psyched that Mom remembered to get our favorite cereal at the store.......Not like that shit's happened to me before................

It's hard times in Friarland: after losing five straight, 8 out of our last 9, being swept by the (equally as) lowly Twins, reaching 600 team Ks for the season, giving up 3 unearned runs late to lose on Father's Day. Now the beaten and bruised Friars are heading to Fenway to face the one of the hottest teams in baseball in the Boston Red Sox.

I'm dreading these three days in June.

That's why Patty Ice and I have made a commitment to drink during this particular inter-league series. Doesn't have to be a rager, but this next few days might be painful and poppa needs some sweet and tender medicine to lull away the night terrors. But hey if you have the time and the means to rage, let's make up some spiteful drinking game rules:

1. Drink every time Adrian comes up, and then once more for every base he touches during that at-bat.
2. Drink for every runner the Padres strand.
3. Drink every time the Padres go down in order.
4. Drink twice for every error, and twice more for every un-earned runs.
5. Drink at the start of every half-inning you are glad Dick Endberg is not in the booth.
6. Drink every time you unknowingly let out a loud sigh.
7. Drink whenever a Padres batter hitting below .250 comes up.
8. Drink for every extra-base hit given up by the Friar staff, twice for every run.
9. Drink whenever a Boston fan is on camera doing something obnoxious.

IN HONOR OF FATHER'S DAY

Here is the opinion of my Dad on the 2011 Padres:

"Gat-damn they're boring. At the end of the day baseball is supposed to be entertaining, and lately it's just no fun to watch."

Pop has a point. To give you some reference on my parents, they go to about 25+ games a year, and if they go to a really good game they have been known to come home and watch the replay on Channel 4 of the game they just went to -- they are not people with huge expectations of constant entertainment. But you've got to give them something.

Obviously, it's the league-worst offense that results in the snooze-a-thons. But also they Padres usually only score runs in the 7th inning or later (or if in extra-innings, never) and with our leet pitching staff, you are looking at a 90ish minute commitment to dullness before anything of note happens, especially anything of positive note. So far it's just been one of those hang-with-em seasons yea?

FRANCHISE EXPECTATIONS, AND HORRENDOUS CULTURE OF CHAMPIONSHIP JOCKING

A while back I think it was ESPN had an article that paired MLB teams with Premier League teams. So the article would say that if you are  Yankees fan, then you should follow Chealsy, Bo Sox were Man U etc etc. The Padres were paired with Fullham F.C and in the lil blurb summary the articled said something along the lines of 'both fan bases love their teams but do not expect championships'. It's sad for die-hards and the Faithful, but for baseball in America's Finest City, that's entirely true.

What should be the expectations for our franchise?
What do we as fans and ticket buyers generally expect?
Should we demand World Series title(s) from our team?

First and foremost, we in San Diego are not clamoring for championships because we live in Southern California. It's beautiful, there's a lot to do but no pressure to always be doing something, and if you want to go outside and enjoy your life with the windows down and the taco stand open, you can do it 340 days a year. Even Petco feels more like an artistic sandstone addition to the Gaslamp Quarter and, not necessarily negatively, gives the feeling of little homage to the old tenants of the houses of baseball that other newer parks like SF and MIL have incorporated into the design. We live in paradise. Do we want to watch a big league ball game? Absolutely. But is it cool if our boys of summer don't make the playoffs? Yes. Generally it's because we can still go to the beach in December, and nobody says 'wicked pissah' to us ever. 

THIS WEEK IN HATE: ONLINE COMMERCIALS

The pendulum has swung back to the point where now I want to see more commercials online. To be more specific, I want to see varied commercials online, and not have the same ones over and over like I'm in a police stand-off and they are playing Yani on loop to get me to come out. I've watched almost every game this season online at MLB.TV, and although the DVR function definitely has its benefits and its issues, by far the biggest hate I have is the commercials.

I have accepted that there has to be commercials/advertisements in the world, the system is a necessity to fund the fancy light-pictures I watch as entertainment/friend-filler. So acknowledging that there has to be commercials, can we at least get some different ones? Good or bad, just change it up!

I've memorized every tick and inflection in the MLB Umpire Camp (at the Urban Youth Academy in Compton) spot from last month. I used to love (as much as one can) Coors Light, until that jackass baby goat pick up line commercial runs at me 18 times a game. It's always the same terrible two or three commercials in a loop. I only half watch most things online because of that deficit of attention so I can usually block that stuff out, but what distracts me from being distracted is now annoyed my subconscious is with this terrible ads are and I end up muting the computer and the next thing I know, I've missed two innings where the Padres got runners on 1st and 3rd with one out and failed to score because the computer's sound was muted and I forgot about it.

Are they really not selling ANY advertising space? Is that why they have to sell the whole block to one company? If so, Lexus needs to step the damn game up and get five or six spots up.

SOLUTION:

DO CLOSERS NEED A SAVE SITUATION TO BE EFFECTIVE?

Over the last five games Heath Bell has given up four runs now in two games (2 runs a piece) where the score was tied in the 9th. I feel like Hoffy had similar issues over his years and so that got me wondering if the mindset is different for a closer coming into a tied game, if they need that competitive edge of having the game on the line. I know people who are at their best if you shit-talk them, so any fuel for the fire probably helps a lot.

The Big Kid got a lot of work over the last two plus weeks yeah? So I don't know if he's rusty. I'm def not pinning this loss on him, ya gotta score one run over nine people to even contemplate to win (we are 1-18 in games where we score one run...soooo maybe we gotta score two?).

Is Heath strictly a save-situation pitcher in our 'pen?

OUR OWN MEDICINE SUCKS

The Nats have been giving us a taste of our own medicine the last two games, winning back to back 2-1 games against our Pads with stellar starting and relief pitching. It's always funny in baseball to see the headlines for 2-1 games. The winning team's headlines will be 'our pitching is the bomb', and the losing team's headlines will always be 'our bats sucked this game'. So even though both headlines were true, our bats sucked more than their bats, and their pitching was better than our awesome (Clayton Richard takes the loss after a great outing giving up 2 ER) pitching, and Ryan Ludwick's missed dive cos the Friars a run and ended up being the deciding factor.

Either way, like in April, we are one well-timed double away from winning almost every game we lose.

Oh and Rizzo? Yes. Check. Down. Sold. I've been geekin out over Rizzo's swing. Choked down so far his right hand is barely on the knob. Long, extended cut. Pure power. He had a HR and a double today. Are lifetime contracts possible??

Now if only ___, ____, ____, _____, ____, and ____ (insert any names) were actually getting (timely) hits we could start winning ball games. Going for the series split tomorrow. C'Mon Pads!

Seriously...

I couldnt believe my eyes a few days ago when I was reading through ESPN's baseball rumors and found out Clay Hensley was injured striking out Sean Burroughs. Haha I thought it was a misprint but i checked the stats. http://arizona.diamondbacks.mlb.com/stats/sortable_player_stats.jsp?c_id=ari He has 20 at basts this season. This made me feel a little better about the Padres free agent signings this year.

WHAT I'M PSYCHED ABOUT:

Summertime, girls in sundresses, Harry Potter XII.5, and the new season of Breaking Bad. Oh, I thought this was my livejournal. For the Padres I'm psyched about health.

Everyone is Rizzo-o-oed out right now and that's great - that's beyond great. But I am psyched to finally begin reassembling the starting 9 that Mr. Hoyer and Mr. Moorad built, and get them back playing ball again. It started with Mr. Hundley catching today's 5-3 loss. I don't like losing, I hate losing when it's not even our team out there! If I don't hear "Forshyth up with two on and two out in a tied ball game" for the rest of the season I'd be satisfied.

I am going to generalize here, but Hawp and Luddy are hitting like .300 the last month equally with a butt-ton of RBIs, and a nice dose of swag too. However Daddy Long Legs Maybin has been out for the better part of their hot streak, as has Hundley, and Orlando Hudson. That's 3/8ths of the intended starters NOT taking the field everyday, and it's come at a time when our two offense powers are at their hottest. If Ryan and Brad were doing what they've been doing lately during the first 30 days, and if everyone was healthy during their hot streak in the last 30 days, then the headlines, and the standings, would be very different. Beleeddat.

Yeah, I'm excited to see how Rizzo is going to handle The Show. But I want to see MY Padres play together even more. I feel a good summer ahead, and for other reasons besides sundresses.

Stay healthy friends, stay away from free bar nuts, and GO Padres

matt

YOU JUST GOT STAUFFED!

The Rockies got rocked tonight by Stauffer's GEM and I don't mean in just the pitching sense! Not only did he bust out career bests in strikeouts and innings pitched at 8 a piece but he helped himself to a 2 hit night with a critical rbi. Tonight he was going for a dirty, messy kill and there was nothing that was going to stop him. I swear when he hit that rbi he had transformed into the ROCK and was swinging a fence post at every Rockie player trying to knock them the freak out! AWESOME GAME!

TONIGHT WAS TRUELY PADRES BASEBALL!

Great pitching, good defense, and timely hitting. All the things that helped the Giants win the world series last year. My hat really goes off to stauff though, he has been our most consistent pitcher (besides bell, adams and gregerson haha) since returning to padres from AAA. I mean whats not to like about this guy? Great stuff, decent fastball, great location, and great composure. To me he draws comparisons to Greg Maddux, not dominating overpowering stuff, but always consistent and gets the job done. Plus how can you not root for this guy??? He signs as a first round draft pick for way less than he should have because he told the truth about a shoulder injury. Makes it to the big leagues and fails tremendously only to drop off the face of the padres organizational earth. Then all of a sudden emerge again, make the team, and become one of our most consistent starters. I really think this guy is just getting better and better.

I finally got to my first game on Sunday against the stros and boy was it amazing! Perfect 70 degree sunny weather, a late afternoon 3:35 start, $25 dollar 9 rows back from 3rd base seats, and 3 great friends, 4 family members, marines, and mat latos to share it with. Can it get much better??? I had seriously forgotten how awesome petco park and downtown san diego are and how great it is to watch a game there. IF you havent gone out there yet DO IT. NO SERIOUSLY GO TO STUBHUB NOW AND GET TICKETS! And yes im talking to you Matty "this week in hate" rogers, fly over so we can hit up  a game! The only complaint was the 10$ beers but at least it was a large, stone pale ale.

I'm not gonna lie, the recent woes of the padres had really gotten me disappointed in baseball and I was not following it or the pads as much as I should. Sorry for my absence guys, but my sunday petco experience has shocked me back into baseball euphoria! After a first month filled with stephen hawking like boring attitude and demeanorm the padres have finally showed up to the 2011 season. I swear there was a different aura as rick james would say it. Right off the bat on sunday the blue collar sweat and blood denorfia ropes a single, followed by a triple to the 410 sign by bartlett. AND THIS WAS THE FIRST INNING, YES I SAID THE FIRST INNING!

I really think things are starting to go the padres way. The middle of the order is getting shit done lead by Ludwick, Hawpe, and Bartletts resurgence. Ludwick has a new life surrounding him and is crushing the ball and playing solid D. Hawpe has been hitting .300 with 16 rbi since mid May. Barlett has raised his avg. into the mid .260's and is playing better D as of late. The starting pitching is also starting to heat up with a dominating performance by stauff tonight, great stuff by Richard last night and 3 solid starts in a row for Latos. With the bullpen, lead by the big kid himself still smacking bitches around, we are looking pretty damn solid! Not only that, but we still have Maybin, Hudson, Hundley and Thatcher coming back in the near future!

With Hawpe being moved back to the outfield I can already hear a new nightly chant................ RIIZZZZZZZZZZZOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! 16 hr's and 63 rbi already, are those Pujol's stats??? I can't wait to crack skulls on those Colorado Rookies tomorrow! Your padres faithful, Patty Ice, over and out!

O, BITTER SWEET TIDES OF BASEBALL

Two games after that rodeo of hate, the Padres are back to being a functional team again. Well, the Astros are the worst team in the National League, and if not for the Twins (...wtf, Twins?) the worst in the bigs. So we are beating (other) bad teams. Which is good and it's an accomplishment, but the big scheme of things, not that impressive. Sort of like this:

On another broadcasting note: Dick Endberg is starting to learn how to handle Mark Grant, mostly by sort of busting his balls which is funny. MudCat told his theory on the perfect situation for them to catch a foul ball during a game -- which involved the perfect pitch and batter -- and Dick responded with a well-timed **yawn**.  I liked that.

Also if you watch Saturday's game, you can see Jerry's Kids contributer Lil' Kevin ducking under the flying bat that went over the visitor's dugout late in the game! Nice seats can't buy you guts I suppose.

Let's snag three out of four from these mother truckin Texans tomorrow, GO PADZ!

 To round the 3rd edition in a night of failblogging-Pads-style (guess I'm covered for This Week In Hate), here is THIS GUY being guilty of betting on the wrong horse. Imagine being this dude, where the highlight of the day is sitting in his living room with a horrendous headset, then going on national interwebs claiming to be an expert in his (fake) field, only to back a dude who turns around and sharts in his cereal (I assume everyone who works from home eats cereal all day). Real though, up until last night it was a great pic, sucks for him/anyone who paid to see last night's 'game'.

Sports broadcasting is blowing in general right now, especially with the 'Mavericks won because the Heat celebrated a 3 pointer too soon and sparked their comeback' story line. That shit's for clicks only, the Mavs won because defense and the BFG (Big F#@&in' German).

STATS

As if the last post didn't have enough negativity, check this out courtesy of ESPN.com:

The Padres are to offense what Haiti was to the Space Race. We are to scoring runs what Michael Jackson is to breathing. We are as good at hitting as Rush Limbaugh is at belly dancing. We score runs with the same regularity as Charlie Sheen takes his meds. Our slugging percentage is about as high as a Jehovah's Witness in Death Valley.

And other hateful things.

DERP

Derp. Derpa derp, de durp derp. Derpa de durp, durp durpa derp. Derp durpa derp derp, durpa derp de derp derp derpa durp. De durpa derp derp derp dupra. Durp. Duuuuurrrrp durp.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, watch the top of the 3rd inning from last night's loss to the Huston Astros. Failtown, USA. Guck this fame.

Here are the low lights, keep in mind these are not all the bad things that happened in this frame, these are the worst parts of the bad things that happened in this inning:

* Leadoff single for 3rd straight inning against Stauffer
* Carlos Lee hit a 3 run bomb but since it's Petco it was a one RBI ground rule double, 3-0 'Stros
* Catcher's interference against the Padres to load the bases
* Bartlett bobbles a ball and runner safe at first, 4-0 at this point
* 2nd baseman Scrub McDerpDerp air mails the final out of the inning on a failed (FAILED) double play attempt, 6-0
* Foul ball, Pads fan in the front row throws bottled beer onto field in true fail fashion during atrocious attempt to snag ball, fitting for the inning
* Hit batsmen

Here is a photo analogy:

Beer strewn, ball out of reach, life questioned. I honestly can't remember an all around worse half inning of baseball. Oh yeah, JV lose 7-4.

WOO ! ! ! !

Four spot winning streak with that 5-4 win over Sweat-your-ass-off-Lanta! That deserves a Rick Flair Woo!

Notes from Tuesday: We are lucky the Braves are, I think, bottom three in runs scored (Dan Uggla's .178 HOLLA!) in May. Matty Latos was shaky, falling behind often, getting peeved at calls, and sweatin all over hisself - aren't Floridians thick skinned? BUT he gave up only 2 runs, Gregorson and Bell each accounting for a run a piece after that, and we'll take the W any way possible. 

The bench seems to get psyched up whenever we score runs and Ludwick has been killin it (he's tied for 8th in the NL in RBIs), we are stealing bases that lead to runs, and we are taking getting key knocks to keep innings alive (save for Senior Creeper Stash during Monday's game with the bases drunk) and we are taking advantage of teams that we need to take advantage of.

But even with the four wins the team, it feels like they are eking by. 7 out of the last 8 games have been won or lost by one run, with 6 of those being Pads wins. We need to take away the errors, and get everyone healthy. I'm looking at you, Hundley.

Lastly, I know that I am probably in the minority, but I love me some Mudcat Grant's "Euge", as in getting that first out was 'euge'. It started in the first few games and they've been jocking it ever since. I giggle each time.

Wait, we can sweep tomorrow... My god. Let's do this -- I want everyone to get into a 1984 state of mind. F them Braves. Let's Gwynn Slam 'Em!

GO PADS. Scalpin time.

BALLLLIINN'!

Smells like a 5-4 victory for the friars. Iffin it wasn't for the two errors, a butt-fugly blown(uncalled for?) suicide squeeze, and the sort of dismal opponent in the Nationals, it would have been a real great win. Still good though as we take a series in DC on Memorial Day weekend. Take that, nation's capitol sentimentality.

Also when Cantu slid home with the go-ahead win off of Luddy's single, I was certain he looked in the Nats dugout and gave what looked like a death star, tossing back some of the sass that that king douche Worth did in the 6th when he caveman chest pounded after sliding home (either that or Cantu was giving the bedroom eyes to Hawp who was on deck). I hope that starts a great Nationals vs. Friars rivalry because literally no one would know or care about it.

Heath Bell came in for the save, Mosely gave a solid outing and Hawp and Ludwick brought their Varsity bats to the park today. All and all gotta credit the offense for battling, nothing is coming easy for this team thus far so victories like this are icing.

After the game when Bud Black was asked how he is going to spend his Memorial day weekend:


"Barbecues every day, driving fancy cars, still goin to get my regards."


Got love for ya, Buddy. 

IN CASE U MISSED IT

The Onion Sports Dome had the scoop on this Padres heartwarming story.

WE KEEP OUR SCORING ON THE DOWN LOW.

I actually haven't finished watching Sundays game, but Chan4 just posted this stat, and it needs to be reiterated in case anyone missed it:

They also added that all of the two-run games, both of the runs came in the same inning, so in 10 of the 11 games we only scored in one inning. hahah At this point if you aren't just laughing at these stats you should be. Oh and Anthony Rizzo leads all levels (all. levels.) of baseball in RBIs, just a fun fact. Back to the game, hopefully we can score in more than one inning!!

JAIRSTON'S FREAKOUT WORTH THE LOSS

Don't really mind that 2-1 loss to the Nats on Friday. After playing 12 innings the other day with two hits and still losing, I am ready for the JV Padres to start earning wins. Mike Adams is still an all star, as far as I'm concerned he just saved us a longer night. The best part of the night though for sure was Jerry Hairston flipping his lid. To be honest I was pre-gaming so i just watched it on mute and didn't really see what initiated it but seeing a good old Jairston hissy fit was like seeing an old friend after years apart.

"The word I'm about to say starts with F, and ends with yousunnofbitchumpire"

Remember people used to say, 'Well the Hairston brothers are half Latin, and they say that Jerry takes after his mother....' hahaha nothing like a grown man throwing a tantrum and then having people cite his heritage with a side dish of racial stereotypes. To harp on the same old lack-of-leadership point, there was more fire & fury in that two minute freak out than probably in the Padres locker room all season, including the time....that....uuhhmm.....MAN I can't even think of some little thing that someone on the team would flip out about to make a joke - we have like a personality-less team. I guess: like the time someone told Mat Latos that Florida sucks. There, that's all I got.

Good news is that Stauffer and Clay-Rich (promise that'll be the last time I use that nickname) are looking like professionals again, and with another Latos sighting last week I'm psyched on our young staff again. I can watch a well pitched Padres game any day of the week and be satisfied. I just go do stuff during the offensive half-frames (I suggest exercise, cooking, smoking, writing letters to fictional vampires, or quietly weeping in stairwells). And of course Mr. Tekotte decided to introduce himself to the big league ball club, literally winning us the game. Worth should have caught that ball for the triple but either way, double and a 3-bagger in his first start? Deal. Take notes....all of the entire team.

Cam Maybin needs to do something cool next game. BOOM Insightful.

Hope you are having a great memorial day weekend everyone, hope you are with family and friends and remember, never do drugs unless you are positive the people around you will think you are cooler,  never do the drank and drive, and bbq everyday.

What's Wrong With This Picture?

Almost seven weeks into the season now....and a reliever has the second most wins on the club with TWO. Our offense is definitely later-inning minded, but it seems that the worse the pitching the better the hitting, the better the pitching the worse the hitting for them SD Friars. A win 's a win, but the safe bets are in matching good hitting with good pitching, not horrendous pitching with outstanding hitting. Parallel to that after what seemed like a great streak of offensive showings and come-back wins, we were only 4-4 on that road trip, it felt better than that...

It's also funny the leader board has top three for 'Saves' on it. For some teams those three slots are needed. We are truly blessed for absolutely knowing every year who our lights-out closer is for the last 17 seasons (with an assist from the late great Rod Beck).  

Let's at least split this series with the Crew, yeah?  Go Pads.

THIS LIFETIME IN HATE: JOE WEST

3rd base 'umpire' Joe West took a run away from the Padres tonight on an incorrect call saying Patterson didn't tag up for a sack fly. I dislike Joe West. 

This will be a long and profane journey. Read if you are of age.

NICE WIN! And Also the GREAT PETCO DEBATE

First off I want to say I'm extremely proud of our pads tonight and the past two series. I think we have really been battling out there and playing good ball. Hitting IS contagious and thats what happened tonight. Its great to see headley, ludwick (yes i changed his name back from Ludwig because of his recent good deeds), and hawpe finally starting to tear the cover off the ball. I think the hitter I am most stoked about though is Maybin. The guy is a 5 tool player and could be developing into a future star. I mean how sick would it be to have our very own ken griffey jr., well minus some homers and add in some steals but its a kinda cool comparison right? I have always liked Maybin and am really glad he is starting to come alive as a padres. I think out of all our players he has the biggest upside. I like venable also and think he has all the tools to be a great player but sometimes it takes just being a baseball guy and venable has not played baseball for that long (he was a basketball player).

Secondly I would like to say that I thoroughly enjoyed Matty's article today. Cantu's stache is VERY steezy pleazy! I like it that hawpe has copied him (maybe its coicidence that hes doing better? eh eh?) lol. Ive always liked Cantu and hawpe so i hope they keep it up. But ya I must say I wish I had Mathews very creative language and speech. I too have believed that the padres overall lineup is better than last years and have been patiently waiting for my dreams to appear. It looks like the countless hairs I lost to my carpet might not have been in vain after all. So kudos to MattyIce.

Though I am starting to change my opinion that the JV may finally be getting promoted to Varsity, I am still a little skeptical. I came along a great blog article by Brian Koke from the Friarhood on facebook that was a very interesting read. I thought I would share as it points out some of my own views and reasons for still being scared for our offense: http://www.friarhood.com/voice-of-the-fan/koke-korner/961-this-is-a-symbol-of-what-it-takes.html

Going back and looking over all of our wins and losses the past few games I found that our current winning ways could be just a mirage of whats really happening. In May we have a 3-3 record at home while we continue to mash on the road with a 5-3 record. Though are offense has been tearing it up lately on the road, we still continue to get stuck in the Petco park heavy marine layer at home. You would be hard pressed to find anyone on our team actually tearing it up IN petco. You may look at Maybin's states and say hey he has been on FIRE. On the road he has been sporting a very nice .333 with 4 homers and bunch of rbis. At petco........ a measly .213. And its the same with a lot of other guys. Lets take headley for instance since hes played at petco more than most current padres. He still has terrible numbers at home but better numbers away.

What scares me the most is, though I do think our hitting is coming around and we do have a better lineup built for petco this year, we still have to get it DONE in petco to be successful. Even though last year Adrian did not hit extremely well at Petco he still hit in the .270's with 10 homers. Do we have anyone on our roster that can do that at Petco THIS year? We will see. We also had very very good defense last year along with exceptional pitching. Our bullpen is still lights out like last year but our starting pitching and defense has not been as superb as last year. Defense has been a little shaky as of late. Of course like last year Latos had a slow start only to tear off like what 18 great games in a row?

So after reading the article by Brian koke, what do you guys think? Move the fences at petco in a lil to give hitters more of a chance? I personally think yes but not a lot. Just to give some more cofidence to padres hitters. Think about what just a little bit more offense could do if our pitching stays solid??? We continue to have a great road record so we just gotta wins some games at home and we can be at the top of the pack. I do love pitchers duels and even though we didn't hit much last year, we hit enough and it was very exciting. I always value the W above all else but maybe a lil more hitting advantage is all we need.

Either way like I said before hitting is contaigious and it was we needed to get back to our winning ways. I'm liking the way May is shaping up and think that warm weather will bring some good baseball to san diego. Keep that bats going and bring it to SD baby!!! Thats all you need in petco is some confidence and you dudes will smash some balls into the western metal supply! Im pourin a 40 oz. of premium mickeys malt liquor out right now to the pads whooping ass on the Brewders, Seamen, and Birds at petco next week (ok so im not really pouring a 40 oz. out right now lol it is only tuesday, but its the thought that counts!). Until next time lucky shalaleys and yoda back pack luck to the padres! This is your friar faitherful PattyIce over and out!

HALF WAY TO I TOLD YA SO LAND

So get your tickets now. This glorious month of May has been looking pretty swell as of late. First and foremost, for the sake of not forgetting what you've got, our bullpen as a whole is filthy. I mean Tijuana Donkey Show, filthy. Watching the Brew Crew's pen and Colorado's pen should make the Friar Faithful proud. Speaking of filthy, why has no one here at JC mentioned Jorge Cantu's facial hair? It's skeezed out:

"I don't always grow facial hair, but when I do, it's real skeezy."  

Second of all, one night after a Hot-Bat-Hawp got all Will-Smith-Summer-Movie hero on us, there was a Matt Latos sighting today in Denver. He was giving up some deep fly balls but just only one measly earned run over 5 2/3, and when he was pulled in the 6th with a runner on, our big swinging dick 'pen came in and got a strikeout to preserve the lead.

Oh and there's been that something called otfence...oufance? Offense? Chan4 gave us the stat that in April our team BA with runners in scoring position was .180. May thus far? BOOM .293. And that was before all eight of our runs (God I loved typing that) today so it's gotta be north of that number. Detractors will say that going to Milly-Wah-Kay and Denver back-to-back will do that to a team BA, but no one would have been surprised if it hadn't, so I'm not buying it. What am I going to do when we stop scoring 6+ in a game? More naps, probably.

If we continue to hit .275+ with RISP, Latos stays fly, and our Defense cleans up a bit we are going to start quietly winning 2 out of 3 again, like one glorious summer ago. The division is close, keep that faith.


Probably jinxing it by Matt

THAT. JUST. HAPPEND. FRIARS SCORE 13

Praises be to the Brewers 'pen! Guess who started the demolition? THAT GUY. His shit-kickin-grin tells the story. Our 8 run 8th makes you forget we blew a 5-0 lead huh? Also, any Dino doubters, what now?

Uncle Teddy and Andy laid down some knowledge - over the last 12 innings our team BA went up from .216 to .230, 'cause 25+ hit's will do that. Ryan Ludwick had hisself uh day, including bringing to an end his 0-19 streak in the first inning of contests. But most importantly: the team watched Major League before the game. I'm saying that needs to be a ritual until we don't score in double digits, and we're going to Colorado so it could happen...right?

THIS WEEK IN HATE: (by) YAHOO! SPORTS

Going to phone this one in ya'll. No need to do much heavy lifting this week, Friar Faithful laid into the deserving Padres in the last post, and Yahoo! Sports took a couple jabs at the boys as well this past week. So I'll just recap. This is not a hate of Y!Sports, I actually enjoy the site frequently and they seem consistently unbiased. Unfortunately (fortunately?) the staff over at Y! have provided multiple instances of Padres-dissing recently, so I'll let them take over hate responsibilities.

Example numero uno: I clicked on THIS link to watch some KC reporter getting dinged on purpose, because it's my day off and that's how I choose to live my life...and then my JVPadres got hate-smacked by some dude out of no where! You can watch, or just read the quote below:

"Here's a question: if (the reporter) Judge had no intention of swinging why did he even hold a bat? I guess you could ask the same question to everyone in the Padres lineup this season. That's right, Pirates, you're off the hook this year."

(with a cut to this picture)

Giggle, m*****f***king giggle, Yahoo!.

More after the jump.

Double Play for the Ages

If you like baseball, you gotta love a well turned double play. Betancourt and Weeks of the bombing Brew crew pulled of a silly silly web gem against you guessed it, our JV team. Betancourts effortless backwards glove toss to a barehanded grab by weeks and a gun to first lead to a double play that crippled our only chance to tie up the game in the 8th. I really thought the Pads would break through after some daring base running by the working mans ballplayer Denorfia. He legged out a bang bang double after a nice throw by Braun that weeks couldnt hold onto. Venable followed with a really nice looking hit to left which left runners at 3rd and 1st. Unfortunately the padres couldn't find any luck and the brew crew pulled off probably the best looking double play ive seen in AGES. Even against a fast runner like Bartlett, very impressive and smooth.

Unfortunately the both the Varsity and JV were not that impressive today. Probably the word that sums up the night is DISAPPOINTING. From the pitching, to defense, hitting, to even the broadcasting by the great Dick Enberg. My main three points to this DISAPPOINTING night that I care to talk about right now are: Latos, Ludwig, and Dick Enberg.

Now I'm not really that disappointed in Latos' effort tonight because he really battled out there even though he didn't have his best stuff. I'm more disappointed in the fact that I know the he can do so much better. Don't fret though Friar faithful, I truly believe we will get the dominant Latos back very soon. I believe there are two reasons for his slow start. The first being that he is not locating well and getting ahead of hitters, and two his confidence and demeanor. He is routinely like tonight not sharp on his pitches and not hitting his spots. He is still showing great stuff but really needs to just work on getting that first pitch strike with great location. Thats what made him so great last year as he would get ahead of hitters and then control their fate.

He got behind too much and then left pitches up in the zone. He got really unlucky for the first two runs as one was a past ball and the other a grounder I thought Bartlett should have gloved. The second thing is that he needs to get his mean, BADASS attitude back. Latos doesn't seem to have that same slick young gun swagger he had last year like a young charlie sheen had in Major League. Im contemplating making him a dvd with his great stuff from last year played to monster ballads to get him pumped and ready to smash some heads like last year. But its only some time til he figures it out as he battled all night.

All I can really say about Ludwick or Ludwig is that he flat out SUCKS! 3 strikeouts tonight common!!! He's batting under .200. Management needs to find a way to ship him out of here because he can't hit worth shit. I'd be willing to trade him for Tony Gwynn Jr. At least Tony can play defense and run. Ludwigs failed attempt to run backwards last night to get a ball near the wall was pathetic. I forgot what inning it was but it was terrible. His defense and offense are killing the padres and not very slowly.

Ok OK I know I'm ranting but I have one more beef to settle tonight. SORRY TO SAY BUT DICK ENBERG IS NOT A BASEBALL COMMENTATOR. Maybe back in his younger days he would be great but he is much to old to keep up with the pace (and the pace isn't even that fast lol). Last night when Carlos Gomez got a triple off the wall over ludwigs head (he should have caught it), he first says "and he will touch them all!". Corrects himself to say it hit off the wall. Then states that Weeks makes it to third lol. THE BEST channel 4 crew was and will always be Mud cat and Matt Vasgergian. They were just a great team and fun to listen too. But Enberg is just too old and polite and brings down Mudcats humor.

I still think they should try Bob Scanlan in the booth, that guy knows baseball and is the shizniz. Maybe we should have a vote for favorite broadcast crew. I'll look into it. In the mean time, i'll be dreaming that the padres bats wake up from winter hibernation soon.

Friarfaithful out! Pat

Welcome above the Mendoza line Will...

I never thought it would be this hard to sit through a Padre game. I debated changing channels to watch a little of the NBA playoffs but that lasted only a few minutes. I realized I would rather watch the padres get shut out for the 8th time in 32 games, instead of watching guys flop around the court in the Celtics game. I was disappointed in the lineup tonight when Forsythe wasn's starting once again. I figured with the loss of hudson we might get to see a little of what the future holds. Instead i am forced to watch Eric Patterson and his amazing .150 average and shaky defense tonight. If patterson was tearing the ball off the cover I am all for him starting while Hudson is on the  DL, however the stats dont lie. We should have left Forsythe down in triple A to keep getting at-bats for the next two weeks instead of riding the pine. On a bright note Mr. Venable has finally climbed above that magic mendoza line that most the Padres seem to love. Not only does he have four hits in the last two games, he also doubled his extra base hit total. Time to win our 3rd series of the season tomorrow with Harang ready to turn it around on the bump.
      KL

STAY HOT HAWP

After today's game/shitshow where the Padre defense accounted for six of the Pirate runs on two errors, Brad Hawp's 2-3 with 2 RBI including a walk, a double and a dinger, is pretty much all you need to take away from Wednesday's game as far as Padres highlights. Oh, and also the center fielder position was created with Cam Maybin in mind. 

Just can't be giving away runs against SD and expect to win, especially, as Pat pointed out, when our best hitter is rocking a .266. Anyway next up my man Tim Stauffer as he takes on the D-backs and former Detroit Tiger Andres Galarraga (insert some atrocious, snide comment on his career highlight from last year) on Friday for BeerFest so make sure to catch that! I won't be able to make it this year and get decked in the face like last year so someone will have to continue the trend, who's going to step up??

Go Get Em Friars! matt

BIG JOHNSON!

Big Rob Johnson to the rescue! Im not gonna lie, I didn't mind the move by the padres to pick up rob johnson but I did't think much of it. Torreabla tore it up last season and he was a fun guy to watch with his lovable personality. The more and more I see BIG johnson, the more something in my pants starts to tingle. Ok sorry enough with the penis jokes, but seriously Rob Johnson might have been the MVP for the night.

First after Gregerson had a un Luke like night, putting the padres in the hole, Johnson bails them out with a perfect pitchout gun to second to nail McCutchen. It was a prefect throw and it had to be cuz mccutchens got some pretty nice wheels. Then he comes out huge in the 8th with a go ahead monster blast, that I swear was going into the giant Frazee paint can (theres gotta be fans in that thing). Next, with a runner on second and the BigKid on the mound to close out the game, he fires a fastball to third after a ball in the dirt. Headley puts a tasty tag on for out number 2. Game set match. BOOM BABY.

Gunning out McCutchen was HUGE because a 3rd and 1st situation turned into a runner on third with 2 outs. Qualls then get a 1 pitch third out to leave the score at 5-3 Pirates. And were now 3-2 in the last 5 games with a chance to take our 2nd series in a ROW. We would be 4-1 without freakin Tony Gwynn Jr. making a hell of a catch for the last out in our first game of the series against the Dodgers. Is the JV breaking out? Are they on the verge of getting promoted??? Im not gonna say anything at the moment in worries of jinxing them haha. You gotta love Latos, .100 BA Patterson, and Big Johnson powering the Pads to a very exciting 6-5 win vs. the suprisingly 3rd place Buccos. Let's get some in May Padres!

And thank you Matt for pointing out some cheap BS givaways! Common upper management!

Your 5 for $5 loving Friar Faithful, Pat

THIS WEEK IN HATE: THE GIVEAWAYS

A friend of my burst my superfanboy teenage bubble about a decade ago when told me that the only reason the Padres were giving away Bruce Bochy tee-shirts one Saturday night was because everyone else on that team sucked. Well that was definitely the truth. I mean the Mark Kotsay #14 shirt was a stretch on its own that year (but if memory serves correct the same year gave us the Eric Owens dirty shirt freebie, and to its credit that was the shit.) The Padres organization actually tried to make a Bruce Bochy bobble head but it would just topple over from the top weight at the slightest touch.

Well the no-name Padres are back at it again this year with a giveaway this Saturday of 5th year manager Bud Black. The Bud Black Bobble Head will have the awesome features of 'who-cares?' as well as 'doesn't-matter' and for an added bonus, 'pathetic'. It's a testament to the lack of names true, but also (and what was so cool about the Owens shirt) the Pads are lacking on some really adored players left on the roster that have earned places in the Friar Faithful's esteem. I'da loved a Jerry Hairston bobble head, but The Jairston as well as most of the team leaders from last year have vamoosed. Hell I'd rather have a retro-ish Ryan Klesko first-pitch-wiff-on-a-ball-in-the-dirt bobble head for giggles over a manager who hasn't gotten us out of the first round.

It doesn't feel like it, but are we really back in the dark ages of the early 2000s again? If you read the giveaways as a testament then YUP. Honestly Pads, just bring back the 5 for $5 for one night so we can get schwasted on cheap hot dogs and mini bags of pop corn and call it a night.

Hate Hate Hate by matt

(ps this post should be about the Giants being douchy, but I expect most of the TWIH to be along those lines so I'll save it)

All we need is 3 Runs...

Today makes it 11-2 when the Padres score 3 runs or more. I was skeptical about Mosely winning the 5th starters job but he has been pitching like an ace. It's great to finally to see a W next to his name. I know it was a rough April but we are 1-0 in May. the offense is looking like the at-bats are slowly coming together and looking more like a team that can at least play .500 ball. I want to apoligize to Brad Hawpe for all the hate i have had for him, 5 game hitting streak with an average over .300 during that stretch. Maybe he is breaking out of the slump. Lets hope the pitching staff keeps up the quality starts and the offense continues to improve.
              KL

4/30 Rod Barajas, Player of the Game!

Alright that's sorta mean. Mostly because why kick a guy when he's down besides minor giggles, but also the Padres as a whole played an awesome game Saturday night at Chavez Ravine and they deserve credit.

A night after Anthony Gwynn Jr. grand thefted the game from the Pads in the bottom of the 9th, Timmy Stauffer continued his polar-opposite-of-Matt Latos streak from last season in a more than stellar outing. The hitters were getting runners on base, moving them over and getting them in. The Doyer catcher Barajas dropped two balls during plays at the plate, the first of which I refused to watch on replay because of what it looked like happened to Barajas's left knee. Maybin went feet first into the catcher's straightened left knee and Barajas should be considering himself the luckiest man in the state to not have to spend Sunday looking for jobs on craig's list.

Where I live is on the other side of the world so this game occued on May 1st here so I'll jump the gun and say I toldya so about the Padres in May. However the actual May 1st game tomorrow features the personality-less former friar Jon Garland vs. Dustin "Measly-Amount-Of-Run-Support" Mosely. Seriously, the Chan4 crew pointed it out tonight, the JV squad has given him the worst run support in the major leagues.

So hopefully the boys can start all new trends by winning a series and getting Dustin some runs!!

GO PADS

matt

The One Nut out of the pants Rally

I was lucky the past two days that by the time I had enough time during work to check out the score to the padres game, my espn scorecenter ap on my phone had already alerted me to the fact that we were losing 6-0. Great end to the day right? The JV has got me so depresed about our offense that once the other team scores even just one run I'm  already ready to grab a new pair of underwear. And if its more than 3 runs I cant even turn on the game, I'm forced to turn to baseball tonight to get my offensive fix.

I don't have a lot to say tonight except that the offense can only get better from here. I mean seriously. Bud Black is gonna run out of "I think the hitting will come around" lines at some point and Hoyer will be forced to trade the JV for our triple A squad. I mean Rizzo is hitting .400 or something. Rizzo would be much more fun to watch and he cant do any worse than the Hawpe line right??? Plus I cant wait to hear chears from petco "RIZZZZZZZZOOOOOOOOOO", just sounds so awesome.

These JV players really need to step it up though. Baseball is FUN! These guys don't even look like they are having fun. Hey Hawpe I will trade you jobs, I bet you I could play first base and hit .100 right now. Shoot I'll even throw down a few bunt hits! Go have some fun padres! My bag of different rally starters was almost down to bring out the "one nut out of the pants" rally before Ludwig finally hit a bomb (and by bomb I mean about a 1cm over the fence). Common pads I really don't wanna have to get serious and pull out the one nut just to get things going every game, otherwise I'm gonna be watching a lot of games from my living room instead of petco this year.

Your still faithful friars fan Pat

Braves 7, Padres GOOSE EGG

On 'defense' Brad Hawpe Brad-Hawpe-ed a ground ball up the line with two outs in the 3rd leading to a 5 run spanking in the frame against someone who used to be named THE Mat Latos. Inconsequential, as the JVPadres got 4 hit and shut out, concluding a 1-6 homestand. Watching these games, I find myself constantly and exactly quoting this baby.

The Braves have a team BA only ten points higher than the Friars, but they scored 18 runs in the three game set against us. In Petco. Let's get outta this place and get on the road.

Debacle.

APRIL SHOWERS...

I've made jokes about it in previous posts. But all shits and giggles aside, the Padres have played A TON of extra-innings this year.

The Padres are at 7 extra-inning games out of the 24 played thus far. Last year we played a total of 14 in the entire season. So far they are 2-5 in those 7 games. I don't have the exact amount of innings but I have to generally assume that's about an extra two or three whole games added on (if you also throw in the added time during that debacle of a game that lasted until 1:30 AM) to this short season. We are currently on a pace to play 47 games that go past the mandatory 9 for the year. Compared to just the rest of the division we are by far the leaders in games that-go-well-beyond-my-parents-bed-time. The closest in the division is the Giants with 4 extended games (one of those being a damn win last night), while everyone else comes in at 2 a piece.

I know that these are professional, for the most part, athletes but extra frames add additional wear to the arms. As consequential is that aspect is over the course of a season, when the team is struggling as a whole the constant extra inning caused by leaving 11hundred runners on base makes it rougher all around on the mind as much as the body.

Which brings me to this: May.

I couldn't find any news articles to back me up but am I wrong in saying that  May is our month? Like, we're notorious in that regard right? Well I'm hopping on that party bus right now. Men left on base, obscene amount of extra-inning games, general atrociousness, it's all getting left behind. So go f-yourself April, do you worst, I'm waiting until my month May. In May, 8 out of the 10 series we play are against teams at or below .500 currently. I'm Applebees feeling good in the neighborhood about May.

But we should sweep the Dodgers this weekend for good measure anyway.

GO PADS C'mon Latos let's take this series.
May jocking by matt

"It's times like these you learn to love again" Dave Grohl

This song came to mind after Ludwick's walk off jack tonight. After what has been up until now a frustrating year for the Pads offense, one at bat changed everything, at least for tonight. This is the great thing about baseball, even though our Pads have dropped to the cellar of the NL West and have possibly been swinging wiffle ball bats for the last couple weeks, tonight they made us all happy. Ryan Ludwick goes from a huge disappointment to a hero with one swing. Maybe it's what he needed to get it going this season, or maybe he will go back to disappointing us, but at least now we have one good memory of the guy that was supposed to put us into the playoffs last year.

There was actually more good news from this game than Ludwick's performance, even though his shot was the most memorable. How about Brad Hawpe? In most ballparks he hit two bombs tonight, of course in Petco he hit a double and an f7, but could he finally be busting out of his slump? Can we even call what he has been in a slump? There must be a better word for a guy that has been going as bad as Hawpe has this season. There is always talk about a hitter hovering around the "Mendoza line" when he is struggling to keep his average over .200. Hawpe hasn't been able to keep his average over .100 until tonight. At least tonight he broke the "Hawpe line," and he better keep hitting because that's a name that's likely to stick. Just to put into perspective how bad he has been, not one player with more than 5 at bats on the 2010 Padres hit under .125, and that includes the pitching staff. So here we go Brad, keep hitting like you did tonight and you'll get things going.

Of course the pitching was stellar again tonight. Only 4 baserunners allowed by Mosely, and the bullpen didn't allow a single run.

Something about tonight's game makes me feel like opening day again. Just yesterday I was sitting at Petco frustrated, and today things are looking up again. Like I said, that's baseball, and that's why I love it. Of course if the Pads get shut out again tomorrow I'll probably hate it once again.

KK

Hawpe on out of here brad...

Wouldn't it be nice to log in to padres.com tomorrow to see a headline of Hawpe retires saving padres 6 million dollars. I have watched almost every game this season and came to the realization that I haven't seen Hawpe hit a single line drive. Between the weak grounders and called strikes, he manged to hit a few cue shots that somehow landed in the outfield.

THIS WEEK IN HATE: ESPN

The Eastern Sports Propaganda Network is currently jocking Doc Halladay's performance against the newly-crowned-'JV' Padres pretty hard. Doc was outstanding, he was def throwing that Cy Young stuff, giving up one run over 8 2/3 and striking out 14. But cereal, is it really headline news when you dominate the worst of the worst? NOPE.
 
This is also a duel Week in Hate post for the JVPads 'offense'. So considering both, lets talk stats. San Diego's best career hitter in the lineup was Wade LeBlanc, the starting pitcher. LeBlanc was also NOT coincidentally the only batter not to strikeout against Roy in the contest (the player to pinch hit for Wade in the 8th, Cantu, took care of those duties). In addition 9 of Roy's 14 Ks came against batters hitting below .185, or with fewer than 20 ABs this year.

(ESPN freeze frame after the jump)

JV

JV thats what the padres have been this series against the Phillies. JV as in junior varsity! Seriously the padres looked like a bunch of high schoolers who were out there to just have fun, not really caring if they win or lose but at the end of the game they will get their snack bar ticket and go home. The only thing varsity about this team right now is the pitching which has been superb supporting the NL league leading era of 2.95. And that is without much help from Latos (which will hopefully change soon) and starting Yankee/Angel castoff Dustin Moseley.

Junior varsity (my new nickname for the padres anemic offense) is continuing a yearly trend of drinking too many 40oz. bottles of preseason hype and stumbling to the finish as the worst of the bat swingers. The JV currently holds the rank for 16th out of 16 teams in the NL in terms of offense and is the lowest in almost all categories except stolen bases.

Now granted the Phillies are no chumps and are probably one of the best teams in the league, the friars offense still had a chance to win every single game of the series. The varsity did a hell of a job holding the phillies sluggers to no more than 4 runs in any game. And it would have been less if it weren't for some blooperesque defensive plays.

For now though lets focus on the JV and dissect two of my main reasons for the collapse of offense in the sunny san diego. And no I am not like most people right now blaming the hitting coach, petco park effect (though that heavy sea air does create one),  or lack of fan support. Instead my two main reasons for the fall of the offense are this:

1. Lack of leadership and accountability

2. Payroll

Though both of these are almost interchangeable lets start off with number 1. Even if you have the most talented team in the league, you will never win without leadership!!! All great teams have great leaders, think Kobe and the lakers, Pujols and the cardinals, and all the other great leaders who have defined their teams throughout the years. And its not always the big star money makers who are the team leaders.  Last year adrian might have been our best hitter and overall best player but personally I don't think he was our team leader. The 2010 team could be defined by Eckstien, Jerry hairston Jr. and the BK "big kid" Heath Bell. Yes adrian led almost all offensive stats and was definitely a leader, the three aforementioned players truly led the padres to an almost cinderella story.

One word defined those three players mentioned and that would be CLUTCH! I can't remember how many times Jerry Hairston Jr. came through with a huge double play or big hit to drive in a winning run, but that guy was the shit! Right now the padres have NO offensive leadership. No one they can truely count on to be consistent. No one to drive in that run when it counts. No one to get a team fired up. Who ever once quoted that "hits are contagious" was a total genius. We need someone on the team to step up and be that spark to start some hitting flurries. IF one of Ludwick, Cantu, Headley, Hawpe, or Hudson can't get some leadership qualities soon we are done. All of them have the potential and experience, someone needs to step up!

The second cause of a woeful offense is the payroll. The UT in February quoted the padres as having a payroll of close to 40 million (it could be less). That gives us a ranking of close to 27-29th (depending on what payroll we take on or get rid of in the coming months). Sorry to say but trying to find lightening in a bottle only happens every once in a while. There is only so many times upper management can put out a meager amount of money and hope to get maximum value. Kevin Towers was a master at pulling this off with the bullpen which is always a possibility but offense is a different beast. The padres got lucky last year that they had an anchor and leader in Adrian and clutch leaders in Hairston Jr. and Eckstien, this year they have neither.

The padres spent little money on high risk high reward guys which right now is paying off very poorly. Getting high value players on the cheap is an extremely important value to have when running a small/mid market team but don't count on that model paying off very often. Very few teams with payrolls under 50 million tend to every win world series. It is just too hard to put a good product on the field with such low input and thus the Junior Varsity was born. But seriously common Morad, is 50 million really that much to ask for??? Even with 50 million we could have spent the money on a decent hitting outfielder or first basemen.

Without a change in either of these the padres could be doomed to be the bottom dwellers of the NL West. I am still holding the hope since I will never turn my back on the padres but it is serisouly getting sad, boring and hard to watch.  And don't believe todays stat line of 0 errors. I saw at least 3 padres errors in the game, a grounder to Hawpe that lead to a run, a ball in and out of the glove of diving venable that allowed an inside the parker, and a diving ball missed by ludWIG.

This is your Friar faithful padres blogger Patrick McQuinn, over and out.