3rd base 'umpire' Joe West took a run away from the Padres tonight on an incorrect call saying Patterson didn't tag up for a sack fly. I dislike Joe West.
This will be a long and profane journey. Read if you are of age.
I would bring Adolf Hitler back from the dead for the sole purpose of eyeball fucking Joe West on a bed of venomous snake fangs. He is an ass hair after a two week camping trip with no TP of a professional umpire. He is as horrendous as he is obese. The last time that man had a chin computers took up whole floors of buildings. He is a round bag of fat fatty fat fuck.
Now that that's out of the way, let me be clear: this hate of Joe West is only partially, and minimally, based on the failed call itself during tonight's game. Everyone screws one up; the biggest mistake in officiating in Padres history was made by Rich Garcia against Mark Langston 2-2 pitch with 2 outs in the 8th inning of the 1st game of 1998 World Series. Although, generally, fuck Mr. Garcia, I'd still shake the man's hand and I hold no legitimate ill-will towards the actual man. West, is a different brand of whiskey. He has a long standing history of unforgivably motivated decision making.
Dick Endberg and Co. had a lot of hate to say about this broken bottle to the kidney of a person during his blown atrocity of a call in tonight's game that cost the Friars a 2nd inning lead. What you can surmise from the reactions of spite from the Channel 4 crew is that in baseball it's general knowledge that Joe West thinks he is bigger than the game. Dicky E, rarely are we real tight, but my brother tonight I'd like to buy you a drink.
The first time remember hating Joe West was in 1997, when West was at 3rd base on a Sunday afternoon. His call on a Ken Caminiti defense play on that base where Ken was laying on the ball instead of holding it, was a dim moment in the light of human existence. The call was out, going in the Padres favor. Ted Leitner was announcing the game on KUSI as he used to on Sundays back then, and Uncle Teddy was dumbfounded the call was so unequivocally incorrect.
That's how bad he blows, he makes you feel ashamed of the calls that go your way. He's how you feel after marrying a dutch supermodel then getting hammered off Popov Vodka and sleeping with her 400 lbs crabs-having sister - just dirty and shameful. I was 11 when that play with Cammy happened, who the fuck remembers the names of umpires when they are 11 years old? THIS GUY. Because he is that awful at his job he makes you remember. And that is Joe West's only goal: making the fans remember who the fuck Joe West is. He is the 9.0 earthquake off the coast of an island of orphans and endangered animal reserves of objective umpiring.
Being awful at your job is one thing, fuck if I haven't be guilty of that many a time. But the worst aspect of this gushing hemorrhoid of a person is that he is attention starved as well, which mostly likely motivates is atrocious umpiring. He is an itching and burning midnight dick drip from the VD courtesy of a Taiwanese tranny whore of officiating. He makes me want to take penicillin every game he works. The prime example of his spotlight craving is this:
I wish I could remember more vividly the circumstances of a play in 2010 when, during a national televised game (thus the only reason for this tragedy of sports), a right handed hitter questioned the call on the inside from West during an at-bat. West took off his mask and had the hitter hand him the bat. West walked around to the front of homeplate, and laid the bat down the ball's previously traveled trajectory. Feel as though he had proved his point, West then calmly and slowly walked back behind the catcher so the batter had to pick up his own bat off the ground. WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT?
The whole game stopped for this full fleged sack of fatty fuck, so that he could take dictatorship of the spotlight for a few fleeting moments. I literally had to go take a walk around the block after I saw that. He'd punch a bride in the throat and taser the groom in his balls during a wedding if he thought it would get him more attention than the happy couple.
Lest we not forget he spearheaded the Umpiring Strike which was an fail and a abomination. He is a control freak and an attention whore in a profession where specifically anonymity and objectivity are the ideal accomplishments. His umpiring is akin to ordering a fancy steak dinner with all the fixins and having a wart-filled severed human foot that's been left in a swamp for a month comeback on top of your T-bone - puss filled, smelling beyond dead, toes all up in the mashed potatoes.
Simply, due to past and current transgressions, I believe Joe West should not be allowed to continue in his current profession.
That fecal parasite in a rat's intestine.
That Ass-faced walrus.
That double-arsenic-dipped fuck stick.
Being a little spiteful by Matt
No comments:
Post a Comment